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Gavin Tale Twister #38: Charlie Bit My Finger! THE SEQUEL

2012-02-02T20:40:00.009-05:00

Most of you who surf the Internet have seen the You Tube sensation called "Charlie Bit My Finger". If you have not seen it, you should and you can by clicking here.

Hilarious! Isn't it? Well, my kids have seen that video about 100 times.

They love this video so much that they take turns playing Charlie while the other brother taunts his index finger close to Charlie's mouth. The laughter from the beginning to the end of each re-enactment, with a British accent of course, is something only the parents of two boys could really enjoy. Anyone with two boys knows that they usually only communicate by picking on one another and trying to beat each other up so anytime they are laughing together is a blessing. Since we live in the states but are of mixed heritage, our children have come to appreciate and imitate many of the various accents they have heard.

One night a couple weeks ago I had to go to the grocery store. I dread the grocery store especially with the kids but I had to go. We went in with a short list and got to the checkout line with twice as much stuff. I was so irritated by my children asking for stuff and sneaking all kinds of JUNK into the cart. It was so bad that I was pretty much was the parent with her back to her children trying to pretend they were not mine. They were so happy and excited to be at the store and I was absolutely miserable with them there! We made it to the register and still my back was to them. You know how if you just ignore a two year old's tantrum and walk away, the two year old will get up, stop the tantrum and run after you and then try to get your attention some other way. We must have done that a lot at age two because at age 8 and 12, both Gavin and Sam were right on my tail, almost inside my personal space and yes they were trying to get my attention the entire time. I couldn't move fast enough through that store.

I sighed and took a deep breath when the cashier finally said "Did you find everything you need?" It was as if I reached the finish line. I responded with a polite "Yes, Thank You!" All the personnel behind the counter then tried to acknowledge the boys. I just ignored all of them as if I were saying- what boys?

There was a cashier and a training cashier as well as the bag boy all watching what was going on behind my back. I stayed strong and did not turn to give them any attention. As my bill was racking up into the 40's, the conversation between the boys had turned into the "Charlie! You Bit My Finger!" re-enactment. I had heard it about a billion times so I again did not acknowledge the boys antics for attention. I heard every word but did not turn my head to look!

The conversation went something like this. Sammy (12) played the 15 month old baby Charlie and Gavin (8) played the 4 year old big brother.

Gavin said to Sammy (Charlie) as he sticks his index finger close to Charlie's mouth. (Say this with a British accent:) "Now, Chaaaleee your not going to bite my fin ga, arrrr uuuu?"

Sammy shakes his head from ear to ear and responds back "an-ahh " (that is baby talk for NO!) as he is giggling and lunges forward with his big wolf like teeth. Gavin quickly retracts his finger and then tries again saying:

"Bad Chaliee, Bad bad Chaliee!" Pause... Giggle. "Now Chaaliee, your not going to bite my fin ga, now arrrrr uuuu?"

Again Sammy says "an-ahh" and just when Gavin gets close enough with his finger, Sammy lunges forward to bite Gavin's finger. Gavin retracts the endangered finger once again and just in time.

This went on a couple of times and by now the cashiers and bag boy were fully engaged but only because the boys were having so much fun. I still did not look.

"Chaaaaaleee, you promised you wouldn't bite moi fin-ga."

Sammy smiled like a 2 year old with big bright eyes and bobbed his head up and down wanting to please his 4 year old big brother and willing to follow his every command.

" Chaaalee..... you promise? Right? " Sam sill bobbing his head up and down as if he were in agreement.

"OK Chaaalee, you promised!" Gavin raised his index finger closer , closer, closer and closer to Sammy's mouth. With Gavin's finger went his whole upper body as if this was to shield the finger in jeopardy.

The giggles had turned to uncontrollable laughter by now. Gavin and Sam's faces were red and sweating. It was as if there wasn't anyone else around. They were in their own little world. I maintained my iron clad stance facing the register and trying to pay as quickly as possible so we could make a quick escape without any more attention. The cashiers and bag boy were now all eyes and ears fixed on the skit going on behind me.

Right about this time Gavin was laughing so hard that his eyes were almost closed.

Sam with his cat like reflexes took advantage of his opportunity. He snatched Gavin's hand paralyzing him and went in for the kill. Crunch! Gavin squealed in pain. Yes, Chaalee bit his fin-ga! Gavin's face was red and his eyes were watery as he screamed out with pain but still in his perfect British accent (say this just how it is spelled- and loudly) "CHAAAALEEEEEE!!! YOUUUU LOIED!!!!!" YOUU LOIED CHAALEE!!!! (YOUU LOIED in a british accent is YOU LIED here in the states.)

Yes everyone was laughing including me but I still didn't look and as funny as that turned out I still don't want to ever take them to the grocery store again!

I caught a re-enactment of this at home and will post it here when I figure out how to do that.

Gavin Tale Twister #37: Check Your Pockets!

2012-02-01T09:42:00.005-05:00

Gavin (8) does not have many friends come to the house. Not because he has no friends but because his lame Mom and Dad are too exhausted by the end of the week to make that happen for Gavin. Why you ask? Maybe because we have a 12 year old whom for 3 1/2 years before Gavin was born we spent too much time ooing, ahhing, taking pictures, and showing him the world. Now we spend every day driving that 12 year old to his activities. Gavin sits by just watching. Actually, Gavin was doomed before birth! When he came along we were pooped and just happy to sit and watch TV. As you have more kids, you have less time and everything you want to do for yourself gets put on the back burner. You want to nap every day and the kids want to play with other kids. I'm tired just thinking about it.

Being the second child, life is supposed to be different isn't it? Few baby pictures, no play group or baby music classes to enrich his minds, no shopping sprees for brand new cute smocked jumpers, lots of hand-me- downs and he'll learn what he learns when ever he learns it. We are not spoon feeding everything to Gavin like we did Sam.... we don't have that kind of time unless we ditch the silver baby spoon and switch to something more efficient like a funnel. Poor Gavin ....I can barely remember what he looked like as a baby. Bad Mommy!

So last month, I made a promise to Gavin that we were going to build up his network of friends just like we did with Sammy. I think we have done pretty good so far. In the last week, I have gone out of my way to invite one of his class mates over to hang out after school and the other night we had a child from the neighborhood come play.

On that particular night, My Canadian Man Bill and I smiled as Gavin ran around trying to be a good host. He fed his friend junk food and drinks, asked his friend what he wanted to do while he was over, and was attentive to his friend's need. I think Gavin even tried to pay his friend $3 to play something Gavin really wanted to play.

The two of them were up in Gavin's bedroom playing and Gavin ran down to get more drinks. Mind you, you can hear every word said in Gavin's room because his bedroom is just next to the top of the stairs and we were sitting in the living room just next to the bottom of the stairs. Upon Gavin's return to his bedroom, Gavin realized that he could not find his $20 bill that he supposedly placed in a safe spot somewhere in his room. This is the only money Gavin has to his name and I have no idea where he got it from other than earlier I overheard Sam saying something about his $20 missing from his pocket. I can only guess what happened there. Anyway, I could sense that Gavin was in a panic because I could hear a lot of rustling around up there. After about 10 seconds of looking, Gavin says to his friend "Hey I can't find my twenty dollar bill, can you check your pockets!"

Bill and I busted out laughing. Gavin might just be minus one friend in his ohhhh soooo empty friend bank.

I should probably talk to Gavin about needing making deposits with his friends so when he accidentally overdraws , it's not such a big deal. In other words stay on the plus side by treating your friends nicely so when you botch something up, they are more likely to forgive you. If you take take, take and never give, you will end up very lonely!

I just read this post to Sammy. Oops he just realized that his $20 is not where he put it. In that wide open not so secret hiding place behind the TV! Ha!

Older and Wiser #1: Now You Have Hindsight!

2012-01-23T23:00:00.009-05:00

Following breaking news of the scandal that broke mid November 2011, Joe Paterno was quoted saying "It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.” He is now dead 3 months later, complications of lung cancer or maybe a broken heart.

In case you missed it, I usually do, here's the skinny. Joe Paterno fondly know as JoePa, is considered the winningest coach in college football coaching Penn State for 46 years.His coaching style focused on character, academics and honor first and championships second. Mid season of 2011 JoePa's former assistant, Jerry Sandusky, was accused of molesting 10 boy over 15 years and some of them in the football building itself.

What does that have to do with JoePa you ask? Well another graduate assistant reported to JoePa seeing such abuse going on in the shower of the football complex way back in 2002. JoePa praised the assistant for doing the right thing by telling him and took the information reporting it to the school and left it at that.

When I look at it from his point of view, maybe he did do what he thought was his responsibility at the time. His boss, "the school" has some responsibility too. Right?

Is that what you or I would have done? I have never been in those shoes but I think if it had been his own child that this had happened too, he would have followed up. JoePa's response was that " this sort of thing was not usually heard of back then." Maybe it didn’t. Maybe he had such belief in his employers and that they would do the right thing that he just left it at that.

I feel sorry that after all of his life contributions, JoePa died before the scandal was resolved and before he could be vindicated.

That could have been any of our children in that same situation. I would like to think that adults, teachers and coaches are there to not only teach our kids but to protect them from hare. If it were my child that were abused I think I would have done something more so so why not do it for someone else's child?

That reminds me of the movie "A Time To Kill" starring Samuel L Jackson, Matthew McConaughey, and Sandra Bullock. That was a great movie and you should rent it if you have not seen it.

So Really!What would you do? Really? What would you do?

Don't just wish you had the benefit of hindsight because now you have it.

Don't let your life end like JoePa's did. Make all that is wrong in your life right before the hindsight kicks you right in the face.

Gavin's Tale Twister #36: I'm Not Copying You!

2011-12-26T22:43:00.004-05:00

Over the Christmas holiday, we went on a little vacation. We happened to take one of Sammy's friends with us. While in the hotel room during the very little down time we had, all of the boys (Sammy 12, Gavin 8, and Kevin who was also 12) made spinner! What is a spinner you ask? It is a piece of paper that is folded origami style to form a small 2 inch square that when you flick opposite corners, it spins. If you color the top with bright colors, it really looks cool.

The boys must have made about 15 each and occasionally would ask for us to pick which one was the best. So there was a who made the coolest looking spinner competition going on daily. Gavin did not win the first competition and was not happy. I secretly tried to find out which ones were Gavin's so I could pick his to win but he wanted to win fairly.

On this particular day after coming in from the pools and water slides, both Kevin and Gavin set out to make spinners. They sat across from each other folding spinners and then trying to color them the best they could so they could win the next "coolest spinner contest". I was putting stuff away and noticed Gavin frequently glancing over toward Kevin as he worked diligently to color his spinner. Gavin would glance over to look at Kevin's spinner and then look down to his own spinner ... glance over, look down to his own...glance over, look down to his own spinner. It was almost as if he were comparing or maybe even copying Kevin.

At that very moment Gavin spoke up and said..."Kevin I know it looks like I am copying you but I'm really not....your probably see me keep looking over and are wondering why I'm looking at your spinner."

No answer from Kevin. He was too busy to care about what Gav was saying.

Gavin continued explaining..."Really! I'M NOT COPYING YOU. I, I, I'M JUST INSPIRED BY YOUR WORK!"

Ha Ha Ha! I hope he never uses that line in school!!

Gavin's Tail Twister #35: Waking Gavin!

2011-12-06T23:29:00.002-05:00

One night I was laying with Gavin and having some pillow talk with him. He asked that I wake him at 5AM.

" Oh and Mom when you wake me, do it like this." He rocked me gently and said in a sweet tiny voice "Gaaavin, Gaaaaavin, it's tiiimme to get uuuupppp." "Don't wake me like Sam does."

"And just how does Sam wake you?" I asked.

"Well!" "Well Sam usually says in a yelling voice 'GAVIN!!!! GET AUH-UUP!' in mid air, right before he body slams me."

"No he does not!"

"Yes he does Mom and when he lands on me, his butt is positioned perfectly by my face and he lets out a big fart while his whole body weight keeps me paralyzed so I have to smell the whole fart!"

I laughed and laughed at the thought. The things kids will make up.

The following morning I woke up early and gently tried to wake Gavin to no avail. I came down stairs to find Sammy awake and told him the story Gavin told me about Sam's method of waking Gavin in the morning . Sam just laughed and laughed but never denied it.

At about 6:30 AM Gavin comes barreling down the stairs just a fussin' at me. He wanted to know why I did not wake him at 5. I explained that I tried unsuccessfully. His only response was "Why didn't you just body slam me?"

Between he and Sammy, I can't tell whose telling the truth! Hee Hee! It does conjure up a pretty funny picture in my head though.

Gavin Tail Twister #34: Don't Eat The Cranberry Sauce!

2011-12-06T22:58:00.003-05:00

This Thanksgiving, we celebrated as usual with my entire family. Dad, 4 of the 5 siblings and even my Step Mom. In addition, this year one of my sisters boyfriends entire family joined us. They had sold their home and were in a temporary apartment so we asked them to join us and they did. There were tree ladies in the family... the mom and the two sisters each of whom made a dish... twice baked potatoes, fresh green bean walnut salad and cranberry sauce. All of these dishes were ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC! And I'm not just saying that. The food was awesome!

We set up two long tables with a round in between. The round table is where Sam and Gavin both sat smack in the middle of everyone . No problem there until Gavin goes for seconds and comes back with turkey and cranberry sauce. Before he sits down he with his loud voice commands every one's attentions to deliver important information.

"Everyone, everyone! I have to warn you if you go get seconds DON'T! I SAID DON'T EAT THE CRANBERRY SAUCE. I TASTED IT AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE!!!!"

My eyes were wide open in disbelief. I couldn't believe that Gavin had just insulted one of our guests. I looked at the sister that had made the cranberry dish who by the way was sitting smack next to me and said "I am sooo so sorry!" She busted out laughing and was very gracious about the delivery of Gavin's news. The majority of the evening was spent talking about food in general and how delicious the cranberry really was. She wasn't buying it though.

My brother called several days later to tell me how awesome Thanksgiving Day was and how awesome all the food was and he said and I quote "especially the cranberry sauce" but he really meant it!

Gavin's Tail Twister #33: I'M IN A CRISIS!!!

2011-11-13T00:27:00.002-05:00

Early Christmas Shopping ? Yep! Today Canadian Man and I got up early to go to an arcade auction. You read correctly...an arcade auction where they auction gaming machines and pool tables. We were going early Christmas shopping so we took our kids over to the neighbors to play for a couple of hours. On the very short drive to their house one street over, I turn to Gavin only to see his hair sticking up like a turkey's hind feathers.

Three blocks away from the neighbors: "Gavin, I told you to comb your hair."

Gavin's mouth immediately dropped open and his hand rose up to the exact point of the spike. It wasn't a little turkey-like it was so long and spiky that one could almost mistake Gavin for a Cha cha cha chia Pet. It reminded me of the that time Sammy (big brother) put peanut butter in Gavin's hand and then tickled his ear so peanut butter would be all over Gavin's head and hair when he awoke. When Gavin got up the next morning, there was nothing laying that hair down except a full head scrubbing.

"OH MY GOD mom why didn't you tell me to comb my hair earlier." Gavin was pushing his hair down really hard.

Two blocks away: "I did tell you three times. Here put this on." I handed him chap stick for his lips because his lip edges were red from being out in the wind the day prior.

Gavin ignored my request. His eyes were furrowed and he was in distress. He even started to get panicky and resorted to licking his palms and trying to paste the spikes over to one side.

One block away: "Here Gavin put this on " I repeated.

Half block away: Now even more panicky and pushing down harder on the hair. "Mom, I'm can't do anything you say. Can't you see, I'M IN A CRISIS!!!"

Rolling up the driveway: Teee Heeee! "Gavin no big, when you go inside, just go to the bathroom and put some water on your hair and then comb it with your fingers just like you do every morning at home."

Putting it in park: "I can't!"

Parked: "You can!"

Doors opening: I can see Gavin nervously fidgeting before getting out of the car. His eyes are searching his brain for a solution to his problem which may result in potential heckling and embarrassment if he has to enter someone else's home with that head.

My final glance: Gavin exits the car quickly and pulls the back of his jacket over his head so no one could see his hair as if he were trying not to get wet in a thunderstorm. As he darted into the house to head to the sink, I thought to myself ... I wonder if Gavin would have cared about his hair so much if one of the kids he was visiting wasn't a GIRL... quick thinking Gavin...she would have teased you more than her brother and yours too. That probably was a crisis in his little mind. So cute!!!

Gavin's Tail Twister #33: Your Fat!

2011-11-06T21:47:00.007-05:00

It was the day before Halloween and I had not made any attempt to participate in any Fall Festivities. No pumpkin, no cob webs, no spiders, no candied apples... oh and no candy. I thought to myself...Maybe this is the year I should just skip Halloween. I wonder what the kids will think if I do that. Will that scar them for life, label me bad mommy for life or maybe they won't even notice. It was Sunday afternoon and tomorrow was Halloween. I had about 6 hours before bed time to figure it all out. Sammy (11) at his age is ok with most everything as long as he gets to get together with his friends to roam the neighborhood on Halloween night. Gavin on the other hand is all about "CELEBRATING LIFE!"

Gavin and I were in the car about to head home when Gavin finally said with an accusing bad mommy tone "MOAMMM! Tomorrow is Halloween and we have not carved a pumpkin yet and we have no candy! We gotta go to the store NOW!" I could see him in my rear view mirror as he cut his eyes over my way with what looked like a child's disgust. His brow was furrowed and his jaw was clinched. I'm not scared of a little 8 year old so I attempted again. "It is so late and our pumpkin would only be out only one day. Maybe we could do a couple of pumpkins next year."

"NO! responded Gavin. (Loudly I might add!) We have to carve a pumpkin and put out decorations today so we can be ready for all the festivities tomorrow." He was not going to buy into my trick. I guess we are not skipping this holiday. I am pretty sure there would be some mental long term scarring for Gavin.

So....I turned the car around and headed to Kroger only to find zero...yep zero pumpkins available for purchase not even the plug in kind. I drove on to Fresh Market... same story. I knew my only real option was to go to the dreaded pumpkin patch where the trunk or treat was taking place at that exact moment. There was going to be no parking and there would be tons of people everywhere. I was worried Gavin would be sucked up in the excitement of trunk or treat with the big jumpy activities and want to side track. We got there and I tried to get out of getting the pumpkin one more time. No chance! Gavin was so focused on the patch and getting that pumpkin that he was trying to keep me on his mission and told me "Do not to even think about going over to the church for other activities Mom". "Well OK then" I replied. We got in and out under $12 and in 30 minutes. We ended up with one carving pumpkin and 2 small cute pumpkins to draw faces on. We got home and Gavin went to immediate carving mode, drawing all over the pumpkin face and then shedding tears over his crooked mouth. Gavin even got the drawing on his small pumpkin done.

Sammy comes in the door and Gavin immediately picks up the two small pumpkins saying in a very calm soft tone with no inflection on any work "here Sam draw a face on your pumpkin...hurry up we don't have time to talk about it...tomorrow is Halloween." Sam immediately was looking around questioning for what we brought back for him "Why did I get this one, what are my choices." Sam said dismissing Gavin's urgency. Gavin replies "we have one big one to carve, a tiny little one for me and this bigger on for you. Oh... and yours is bigger (pause) .... 'cause (pause) ... well 'cause you're fat! The insults never stop between brothers and I love it because it makes for some pretty good blog topics.

Gavin's Tail Twister #32: Brotherly Love!

2011-10-20T21:18:00.003-04:00

Tonight I am on call and Angel (the nanny) is staying late with her 21 month old because Canadian Man is not home until late and I need someone to stay in case I get called to the hospital. The baby was trying to go to sleep, Gavin was doing his homework and Sammy was on XBox with his friends hooting and hollering.

I politely asked Gavin to walk upstairs and "tell you brother to please hold it down because the baby is trying to sleep."

"No mom!" Gavin said.

"Please Gavin just tip toe up and close his door and ask him nicely please hoot and holler not so loud. The baby is trying to sleep. If you say it nicely he will listen."

Gavin stood up and looked at me, rolled his eyes, and said: " How about just "Shut Up and Be Quiet!"

That is brotherly love!

Gavin

2011-10-20T20:25:00.001-04:00

Gavin Tail Twister # 31 : THEY HUG ME BETTER THAN MY OWN MOTHER!

2011-10-13T20:34:00.007-04:00

This week has been a tough week! Everyone is in trouble in our house. Both boys and "That Canadian Guy" (usually he is My Canadian Man)... not today. I am not happy! I came home after a tough day, my head hurt, my eyes were bulging and the young-ins were yapping and I just wanted to be left alone to go to bed early.

We all shower one by one and got ready for bed. I go to the sun room as usual where Sam is getting some help from his Dad on his homework.

Gavin comes in after his shower and yes already with his school uniform clothes on for the next day. He begins to thread his belt through the belt loops when ...

"Gavin, what are you doing with your school clothes on?" Canada Man said.

"Oh!" With eyes wide open, lips stuck out as to acknowledge our displeasure and head tilted to the side like a birddog that has just spotted a bird, Gavin answers his dad. "I'm getting ahead for tomorrow so I can sleep in and I am supposed to be in bed in 1 minute exactly so I've got to hurry. "

"Gavin go put your PJ's on and lay your clothes by your bed!"

Gavin looks at me for help and says "I can't mom, I,I,I.."

I interrupt and say to Gavin. "Your pants are too tight. Go change your clothes and put your clothes by your bed!"

"But Mom, I am already ready!"

" Well you won't be able to sleep properly tonight, you'll be uncomfortable and they look tight."

Gavin's reply "No they're not mom. I like them like this. They, they ,they hug me better than my own mother does! (There is a long pause as Gavin wraps his arms around his pants.)

Gavin looks at me and says" Mom, give me a hug."

I attempt to give Gavin the best hug ever so I can beat those pants for the best hug competition. Gavin stepped back and rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling as to be digesting my hug and comparing it to the hug he is getting from those tight pants. After a long hmmmmmmmm Gavin's final words were: "Nope I like my pants better (rubbing his belly and pants)!"

I chuckled as he ran off to try to get in bed with out us putting the kibosh on his plan to hit the snooze button a couple of times and then jumping right out of bed already dressed so he could enjoy a leisurely breakfast and still make it to school on time.

And after I smiled, no one was in trouble any more.

Gavin Tail Twister # 30 : IT'S A NATURAL RESOURCE IN THE SOUTH!!

2011-10-02T00:41:00.009-04:00

So today I started the morning with Zumba (That is Latin Dance Aerobics Class) and coffee with a friend at Starbucks. I came home around noon and relieved My Canadian Man Bill of his fatherly duties so he could go to the golf course for a round of golf. I gathered up a quick errand list and headed out the door with Gavin (8) to go grab brunch and master the tasks on my list.

Gavin's first words when we got into the car was "I'M STARVING!" "Me too Gavin." I said and off we went. In my mind we were mainly out to run errands but in Gavin's mind we we off to spend quality brunch time. His recommendation was McDonald's. "I don't think so!" is my response. I gave Gavin some choices and those choices didn't include McDonald's. We finally mutually agreed on Cracker Barrel. When we arrived we did the usual things like shopping in the front for our favorite nick knacks and candy of course. We were then seated and ordered our food after which we both managed to attain "GENIUS STATUS" on the triangle golf tee game that God knows had a billion germs on it because every kid and adult wants to see if they are genius.

The food came and of course it came with a plate of biscuits. We both ate about half of our food and a biscuit. Then we packed the remainder for Bill to eat later. In the take home box was chicken and rice some macaroni and cheese some shrimp (yes shrimp from Cracker Barrel! Yuck!), last but not least a tasty biscuit that Gavin would have eaten if I had not stopped him. Since he arleady had one, I made him put it in the box for his dad.

Off we went again to finish our errands. Finally on the way home an hour later, I could see Gavin hiding something in the back seat. After I asked what he was hiding several times, I glanced back and could see the take home box was cracked open. In that moment, I knew what would be missing.... you guessed it... the biscuit!

"Gavin, I thought we were going to save that biscuit for dad?"

"Well I was getting hungry."

"You could have waited to get home and had a fruit snack. You really should have saved that biscuit for dad because you already had one."

"Yea but I was hungry and you know Mom it's a NATURAL RESOURCE IN THE SOUTH!"

Ha ha! You are so funny Gavin!

Worthy of Watching: Are You Tired Of Your Job? You Could Be The Next You Tube Partner. Watch This! Generation You Tube on 20/20

2011-09-28T21:51:00.004-04:00

It is free to market yourself. Watch how others have done it and make a GREAT living at it too.

Click Here to Watch: Generation You Tube 20/20

Pretty Cool!!

Worthy of Watching: Does Diet Really Make a Difference? Watch The Last Heart Attack - CNN Dr Sanjay Gupta Documentary

2011-09-27T00:57:00.007-04:00

Then decide for yourself.

Click HERE to watch The Last Heart Attack .

I'm Back! Had to mentally check out for a couple of months due to the house fire. We are all alive and well. More of Gavin's Tale Twisters, recipes and details on the fire to come.

Gavin Tail Twister #29 Jackie Robinson

2011-09-14T01:17:00.014-04:00

On one Friday evening, we decided to go to Mellow Mushroom. Gavin (8), Sammy (11) and My Canadian Man (Bill) went ahead of me to get a seat and to order. I came from work 10 minutes after they got there. When I arrived, Gavin was in full swing talking at Bill getting right up in his ear so he could hear really well and when Bill would turn his head the slightest bit, Gavin would physically put his hand on Bill's cheek and pull his face over to reel his attention back in to focus on what Gavin was telling him.

Gavin's topic... Jackie Robinson.

Apparently Gavin read a book at school all about Jackie Robinson. So he regurgitated what he learned....ALL OF IT.

The mini Biography on Jackie Robinson by Gavin Martin went as follows (say all of Gavin's part with a lisp):

"Did you know that Jackie Robinson was the first African American to play major league baseball. "

"His dad died when Jackie was young and his mother had to worked as a house keeper to support her 5 children and they live with family to make ends meet."

" Yea and when he went to sweep the side walk as a kid, he would pretend that the broom was a baseball bat."

"Oh and you know he ran track, played basketball, football annnndddd (said just like it is spelled) in college."

" Anndddd Jackie Robinson played in the Negro Leagues before the was recruited by the Brooklyn Dodgers."

" Branch Rickey, Vice President of the Brooklyn Dodgers, asked Jackie to come an play with the Dodgers. Rickey thought segregation was wrong and so he recruited Jackie to play."

" It was very sad that Jackie had very few friends on the team because he was black. His best friend on the team was Pee Wee Reece who was Dodger's team captain. "

"There was a petition being signed to get Jackie kicked off the team because he was black and Pee Wee Reese refused to sign it. "

"Other teams sent out death threat to Jackie and his family because they wanted Jackie to quit."

"Jackie helped the Dodgers win the World Series in 1955."

About this time I tried to talk about something else. Gavin cut me off so quick. Jackie facts were still running ramp-pit in his head.

"Anndd he was the first black person to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame."

Then a friend of our came and joined us but did not get to talk because Gavin demanded we hear about Jackie. Gavin had such passion about Jackie and his life story that none of us could break up his fact giving mission.

"You know he died in 1973."

Sammy finally pipes in and says "No he did not. He just died like in the 90's."

I think Gavin was a little upset that until now Sammy could care less about what he was saying. Sammy was engrossed in his IPad until company arrived at the table. Then Sammy probably just wanted to make Gavin look stupid. Gavin wasn't having any of that! This was Gavin's platform for attention and he was not going to let Sam ruin it.

"SAAAM he did not! " Gavin said loudly. "He died in 1973."

Sam said loudly back "Gavin NO HE DIDN'T! He died a lot later."

"Uhhhhgh! Sam I just read the book. I know when he died."

A real argument was beginning to ensue.

"OK OK boy I'll look it up. Stop fussing. " I said.

I looked it up on my handy phone.

"Well You were both wrong he died in '72 but Gavin you were pretty close."

And Gavin adds "Sammy, you were still really wrong!"

Those fights will never stop!

Gavin was pretty happy about being so close he felt the need to feed us more Jackie facts.

Jackie also was bla bla bla .... and so on .... and so on....

The husband and I were thrilled by the knowledge he had gained that we did not want to discourage him from talking about Jackie but we couldn't take it any more.

We were looking for a break in Gavin's one sided conversation. Finally a 1/2 second lull and Gavin starts back up when Bill interjects trying to be kind and not hurt Gavin's feelings "Gavin we are so impressed with your knowledge of Jackie Robinson and we appreciate you sharing ALL OF IT with us but could we maybe......"

Gavin cuts him off and says "GIVE KNOWLEDGE A REST?"

Ha Ha Ha Yes Gavin that is just what we were thinking GIVE KNOWLEDGE A REST!

We have not heard about Jackie's life since and are afraid to ask. One thing is for sure... all synapses are firing in that brain of Gavin's.

Gavin Tail Twister # 28 : IT'S NOT WORKING!

2011-08-26T22:58:00.006-04:00

The set up: Tonight Gavin was brushing his teeth and readying for bed and I was doing the same. It was a long busy second week of school and little Gavin's eyes were red and tired but Gavin will not go to bed on his own especially after our recent house fire. So after Gavin brushed his teeth, he waited pacing side to side waving his tired arms and watching as I proceeded with my what seemed to be for ever evening ritual. You know you get to those middle age years and there is so much regular maintenance that goes into taking care of your self... like all those creams you need to apply for everything. Heel cream, elbow cream, neck tightening cream, eye cream, a different face cream after a toning cream ...ehiy ehiy yiey. But before applying these creams, one must properly wash and prepare for the big application otherwise you can't properly sleep knowing you took a bunch of short cuts. Jalo would never skimp on maintaining her beautiful skin, so why should I?

The story: I was washing my face with the Soni-care face brush which is great by the way! It is a 30 second scrub and after I rinsed my face, I proceeded to apply more special face cleanser so I could get in another 30 seconds. When Gavin realized I was going for a second wash he lost it....

"Ah MOM! Why are you washing your face again ....I am tired and wanna go to bed".

" Well Gavin, I am trying to keep my face looking young."

"You don't need to do that Mom."

"And why not?"

(With slight sarcasm and the accent on the word WORKING) Gavin says " BECAUSE IT'S NOT WORKING MOM!"

I began to laugh .

"NO MOM REALLY , YOU LOOK THE SAME AS YOU DID YESTERDAY. REALLY IT ISN'T WORKING!"

"Ah ha ha! You are so funny Gavin! Come on, let's go to bed."

THE FIRE STORY: What are the odds?

2011-08-25T22:59:00.006-04:00

Finally I am back online and I have my life some what back in order... at least enough to start typing again. For those of you who know me personally know about the loss of our home to fire started by a bolt of lightening. So...you ask yourself does that ever happen?...What are the odds?

Well The National Lightening Safety Institute reports those odds to be 1 in 200 homes will be struck per year. The good news is that just because your house is struck by lightening does not mean it will catch fire and burn down.

I know you want to know what the odds are of a person being struck. It is 1 in 28,000.

My next blog entries will tell the whole story piece by piece. I will also tell you what you should know about your policy, what to do if something like this happens to you or someone you know, and how to safeguard and keep a log your belongings in the event of a fire.

Recipe: The Best Macaroni and Cheese Ever

2011-06-25T23:56:00.007-04:00

I finally did it! I came up with the perfect cheese sauce for homemade Mac and Cheese.
Pay close attention because a great macaroni and cheese is not as easy as one would think. One of my favorite dishes is Mac and Cheese and I have struggled for years to get the recipe perfect. Hopefully I can impart all the tricks so you can enjoy the same great results and learn some new cooking words while you are at it.

Ingredient List:
2 Tbs Unsalted Butter
2 Tbs White Flour
1 Cup Heavy Whipping Cream
1/2 Cup nonfat milk
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

6 cups cooked elbow macaroni

Perfect sauces originate from a perfect Bachamel Sauce first. First you have to make a Roux, turn that into Bechamel Cream Sauce and then add cheese to make your perfectly Cheese Sauce to which you add your macaroni.

Roux is a combination of unsalted butter, cooked with flour until the flour itself is "cooked out" at which time you get a nutty aroma.

Here we go: Making the Roux- Heat 2 Tbs Butter with 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper. Add 2 Tbs white flour. Stir with a whisk on a medium low heat that allows some bubbling but not burning. If it turns dark brown or burns, toss it out and start over! No one wants to eat brown macaroni and cheese! The only brown color should be the tiny flecks of cayenne pepper. Cook stirring constantly until a nutty aroma appears. This should take about 5 minutes. Getting to the nutty aroma stage is a must otherwise you will taste the uncooked flour in your sauce.

Heat up 1 cup heavy whipping cream and 1/2 cup nonfat milk in the microwave for 1 minute. Heating up the milk is equally as important as making the Roux. I am not sure why this works so well but trust me IT IS IMPORTANT.

Slowly add cream and milk combination to roux while stirring continuously over low-med heat. The Roux will expand as you add the cream to create a smooth silky sauce. Do not add more cream until the bit that you have added has been absorbed by the roux mixture. Once all the cream is added stir over low heat until desired thickness is achieved. Add additional non fat milk ( warm of course) if you want a thinner sauce.

Add 1/4 tsp salt.

Add 3 cups shredded cheese. I prefer a combination of Colby and Jack. I even use pepper jack when it is just for me and my man. You can use what ever you like. Stir mixture until cheese is all melted.

Add cheese sauce to 6 cups cooked macaroni.

Makes eight 1 Cup Servings.

Awesome!!!!!!

Gavin Tail Twister #27: You Look Like You Lost Weight!

2011-06-21T16:10:00.004-04:00

Last night I asked my kids to write a simple note to their uncle for giving them money for the good grades they made this year in school. Sammy (11) wrote a simple 2-liner. Short and to the point. Gavin sat down to write his 2-liner and got frustrated writing just the word "Dear". He immediately moaned "what do I write Mooaom...."?
I was busy and paid Gavin little attention responding "Just say 'Thanks Uncle Dave. Your the best Uncle I've ever had and most handsome too...' Something like that Gav. It is not that difficult." Gavin's head went down as to accomplish a written task and then off he ran.
Later as I was packing the card in the envelope, I decided to read what he wrote. It went something like this:
"Dear Dave,
Thanks for the money you gave me for my grades.
Love,
Gavin
P.S. You look like you lost weight."

Ha! I guess he thinks that complement is the same as "your are most handsome too".

Mango Season Is Here! (Buy KENT Brand)

2011-06-19T11:22:00.004-04:00

It is nearing the end of June which is our family's favorite time of year because it is MANGO SEASON! Our children love mangos and almost everyone who tastes this fruit thinks they have died and gone to heaven. There are many growers of mango in the world but our favorite is Kent. Why? Because the fruit is sweet and smooth with very little fiber strands.

How do you pick a good mango? First of all if you are lucky enough to have the Kent variety available to you, you pretty much can't go wrong. pick fruit with lots of red color. ( You don't want ones that are all green.) Make sure there are no bruises or brown spots.
They should be firm to the touch. If you are buying ripe mangos, make sure the fruit bounces back when you push on it or don't buy it.
If the fruit is not ripe yet set it in a dark cool corner wrapped in news paper for 3 days. Once ripen store it in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. It won't be there that long...trust me!

Coming soon....pictures of the perfect mango.

Gavin Tail Twister 26: Bubby (In An English Accent), Pick A Card...GEORGIA (Screaming)!

2011-06-15T23:03:00.010-04:00

The Set Up: We went to Disney World in the middle of June. Mistake number one! The four of us stayed in a hotel with two king size beds, a dresser, a desk, and a chair with ottoman. Mistake number two! We bought Leg-gos to occupy the kids while in the room.That took up all the floor space in our room for four of five days. Mistake number 3!

On this particular day, Gavin (age 7) had talked all day. Of course we let him because we were at Disney's Animal Kingdom. He was so excited , he couldn't stop asking questions and commenting on everything. Boy he has a lot of thoughts!! By the time we back to our room, only six hours later, I had to lay down and my Canadian Man had to sit and watch Sport Center in what seemed like peace and quiet. Gavin kept on chattering. He got a card trick at the magic shop and every 5 minutes was asking me to " pick a card any card"! Oh by the way , I am his new assistant and will reap 25% of all profits he makes at any of his magic shows. So far I am still $28 in the hole for the so called "trick cards".

We let the kids spend their money where they wanted and guess where that was? Yes, it was at the game booths at Animal Kingdom. Gavin won 3 stuffed animals, one of which he gave to a crying little boy whose dad couldn't get the basket ball into the basket. That child was sobbing and the poor dad felt awful. Gavin ran to us and said "hurry dad give me one of my stuffed animals". Bill retrieved one and handed it to Gavin who ran to the little crying boy and proudly presented it. That was a proud moment for us. Next Gavin attempted his hand at the basketball game and was lucky enough to sink two baskets which won him an even larger stuffed animal..Yea!!...It was amlarge purple and blue stuffed Iguana. Name: Bubby (said with an English accent like in Harry Potter)!

I had just gotten out of the shower and Gavin hits me with " pick a card, any card!"
"Gavin give me 5 minutes to get dressed and I'll play."
In a whiny voice say " no nooowh... pick a card!"
My response " no ice-cream for you tonight for not listening the first time!"
Gavin promptly responds "noooo! OK I'll listen" as he makes a u-turn out of the bath area.
Later that evening when we were getting big brother Sammy his ice cream, Gavin said "I want ice cream!"
"No you lost your ice cream privilege."
"Oh yea that's right I did." long pause....."Mommy, why did I loose my ice cream privilege tonight?"
Long pause ........Mmmmmm I can't remember but it was something.
A few minutes later I remembered... "Oh yea it was because you did not listen to me when I asked you to give me five minutes to get dressed. "
"Oh yea..." He turned his head down to his trick cards that he holds so dear and says under his breath "it was worth it!"
"What did you say Gavin?"
"I said it was worth it!"
I was getting upset that he thought his punishment was "worth it!"
I mean Mom is "I deserve the punishment because I did not listen!"
Gavin ate no ice cream, stroked Bubby's head all evening.

The next day Legos littered the floor in a billion pieces. Bubby was flying through the air across the room. Bill and I just sat in our bed. Bill watching Sports Center and I staring straight off in the distance. The boys were playing catch with Bubby's life. They giggled incessantly. Yes, the natives were getting restless!
We packed them up to go shopping, play putt putt and get a bite to eat. Bubby came along for the ride and so did those annoying cards. It was Bubby this and Bubby that... and if that were not enough Sammy started trying to find cars with Georgia plates. Every time he saw one he would YELL...GEORGIA! This was a game he had never played and was so excited about it.

Gavin Tail Twister #26: Acting Like A Pregnant Woman!

2011-06-02T00:07:00.004-04:00

On this particular day, we had multiple repair people in the house and we had Maggie (family dog that I did not want...that is another story!) in the laundry room because one of our repair guys really did not like dogs. As the repair guys were leaving, I could hear Mag's barking and carrying on behind closed doors. I asked Gavin my seven year old son to check it out. He went into the laundry room only to fine Maggie had made her way into the master bath and was noticeably upset by something. I inquired with Gavin about Maggie's status. His response was "I don't know what is wrong with her but she is ACTING JUST LIKE A PREGNANT WOMAN!"

My curiosity peaked and I bit...hook,line and sinker! So I asked "And just how does a pregnant woman act?"

Of course Gavin style involving his whole body, shook and flailed while he let out intolerable moaning sounds as if to be in a state of panic. I did not worry that maybe he had seen something like this on TV. I figured if he had he would have been laying down flaling and he wasn't ... he was standing.

And now when ever anyone in our family acts short tempered or unreasonably ill, this saying always follows..."Stop Acting Like a Pregnant Woman!" That will put a smile on your face every time!

Gavin Tail Twister #25: Not Thank You!

2011-05-26T23:00:00.010-04:00

So every year at the end of school, our kids bring home all their papers and classwork. I usually look through all of the piles of papers and keep what I think they may enjoy looking at when they get to be say maybe in high school or college or even to flash up on the big screen during some great event of their lives. This year I found a cute little note my son Gavin(7) wrote to my husband and me for this years open house which by the way for what ever reason we did not attend.

The letter goes like this...

Dear Mom and Dad

Thank you for going to open house.

I love you for going.

You are the best parents ever!

If you don't get this, then

NOT THANK YOU!

Since we did not attend, I guess the Not Thank You applies!

Thanks for your honesty Gavin!

American Idol Pool: Scotty Wins!

2011-05-26T02:11:00.002-04:00

Here are the results for the 2011 American Idol Pool. Girl Called Gregg is the winner with 120 points. Sorry YoYo!

	Week 1: Pick 1 To Leave (11 left) 25 points	Week 2: Pick 1 To Leave (9 left) 25 points	Week 3: Pick To Leave (8 left) 20 points	Week 4: Pick To Leave (7 left) 20 points	Week 5: Pick To Leave (6 left) 15 points	Week 6: Pick To Leave (5 left) 15 points	Week 7: Pick To Leave (4 left) 10 points	Week 8: Pick To Leave (3 left) 10 points	Finale Week 9: Pick The Winner (2left) 10 points	SECRET GUESS (Pick The 2010 American Idol) 50 points
Voted OFF	Naima & Thia	Pia	Paul	Stefano	Casey	Jacob	James	Haily	SCOTTY	SCOTTY
Random Knowledge	Naima +25	Stefano	Haily	Jacob	Jacob	Jacob 40	Haily	Haily 50	Lauren	Pia
Magic 8 Ball	Says No no to Stephano	Stefano	Haily	Stefano Total=20	Jacob	Jacob 35	Lauren	Lauren	Scotty 45	Casey
Smedium I Wish	Naima +25	Lauren	Stefano	Haily	Jacob	Jacob 40	Scotty	Haily 50	Lauren	Pia
Swim Mama	Naima +25	Stefano	Haily	Jacob	Jacob	Jacob 40	Lauren	Lauren	Scotty 50	James
Lady Called Greg	Thia +25	Stefano	Haily	Stefano Total=45	Jacob	Jacob 60	Lauren	Lauren	Scotty 70	Scotty 120
Big Country	Naima +25	Cassey	Haily	Stefano Total=45	Jacob	Jacob 60	Haily	Lauren	Lauren	James
Yo-Yo	Naima +25	Paul	Paul Total=45	Stefano Total=65	Jacob	Jacob 80	Haily	Haily 90	Lauren	Pia
G. G.	Haily +0	Haily	Haily	Jacob	Jacob	Jacob 15	Haily	Lauren	Scotty 25	James

Recipe: 2 Minute Microwave Corn on the Cob

2011-05-15T00:47:00.005-04:00

Years ago my friend at work would bring everyone fresh corn on the cob, a stick of butter and a roll of wax paper. We would all gather in the break room shuck our corn rub some butter on it and roll it up in wax paper and twist the ends. We'd stick them in the microwave one by one and the result was unbelievable! Thanks Gwen for all the years of corn and shucking memories. I can't wait for this years crop to come in. This method of corn cooking was one I adopted at home because it was quick and easy and my kids loved it. The loved the aroma, they love the taste and they love those corn holders you stick in the ends of the cob so you can hold your corn easily.

Now that everyone is more health conscious, we don't use butter in our house for corn, we use butter spray and it is just as good especially if you get really sweet corn. Here is how to do it...

4 large corn on the cobs (shucked and rinsed)

butter spray

wax paper

Spray each cob with a generous amount of butter spray and roll the corn up in a piece of wax paper twisting the ends to secure the corn inside. Microwave each piece for 2 minutes on hi. (Only 90 sec for small pieces). Remove wax paper and put on corn holders and you are ready to eat. E Z !!!

Baseball Problem Solved: 12 Kinds of Pitches Moms So Learn Them For Your Young Ball Player

2011-05-13T17:09:00.004-04:00

Here are what the various pitches look like. When your kid is arguing about what kind of pitch they got you can know what your talking about and show them. This was found on TheCompletePitcher.com. Here are 12 different types of baseball pitches and how they move when thrown correctly. Notice the side view below each grid picture to see how they come in and over the home plate.

Recipe: Sambar Powder (Spice Combination)

2011-05-13T16:43:00.002-04:00

Mix these seeds and grind them together to make a spicy combination that will turn any vegetable or soup fiery hot. Sautee your fresh vegies with olive oil and a teaspoon of this powder to make a spicy side for dinner. Mix 1 tsp sambar powder in with chunky tomato and onion soup.

2 1/2 tbsps coriander seeds

4-5 dried red chillies

2 tbs channa dhal

2 tbs urid dhal

1/2 tsp pepper corns

1/4 tsp mustard seeds

1 tsp fenugreek seeds

1/2 tsp cumin seeds

1/4 tsp turmeric powder

1 tsp asafoetida powder

5-7 fresh curry leaves (optional)

Dry roast each ingredient except turmeric and asafoetida for 5 minutes each and set aside. Blend each ingredient in a small blender, a pepper mill or a coffee grinder. Then, blend all together pulsing to combine the ingredients. Store in an air tight container for up to 3 months.

Recipe: Garham Masala (Spice Combination)

2011-05-13T16:23:00.003-04:00

A combination of spices that gives a sweet smoky aroma and flavor to your food. It is not spicy to taste. It is used in many north Indian dishes.This spice combination can be used in any soup, over potatoes, stir fried with olive oil and vegetables. When made can be kept for up to 3 months in an air tight container.

1 tablespoons cumin seeds
1 tablespoons coriander seeds
3/4 tablespoons cardamom seeds
3/4 tablespoons black peppercorns
1 (1-inch) stick cinnamon, broken up
1/2 teaspoon whole cloves
1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg

Dry roast in a pan all seeds and cinnamon until they turn a couple of shades darker or abouot 10 minutes. Be careful not to burn them. Grind the seeds in a small blender, a spice mill, or a coffee grinder. Add the grated nutmeg and pulse to blend all the ingredient. Store in airtight container.

Baseball Problem Solved: Eyes Down On The Ball! Here Is The Drill To Make That Happen.

2011-05-10T23:33:00.009-04:00

One problem both my children have is keeping their eyes on the ball when it is their turn in the batters box. The result ... well a lot of strike outs. If you want to help your child become a better hitter earlier rather than later, follow these simple tips.

Tip 1: Explain what keeping your eyes on the ball means. What does this mean and how do you get your little hitter to actually do this. If you have ever examined a still photo of a baseball player actually hitting a home run ball, you will notice the ball is already mid air heading for the upper deck and the batters eyes are still focused on the point of contact where the ball met with the bat. Keeping you eye on the ball as it makes contact is imperative!

Tip 2: Holding your eyes focused on the contact point where the ball hits the bat is just as important. That is "Head Down" and eyes fixed "On The Ball" at contact and keep it there until you are through your swing! Why you ask? If you do not do this your lagging shoulder will drop (while you are trying to see where you hit your ball) resulting in the body shifting instead of rotating which will result in pushing the ball instead of hitting with the greatest potential velocity. What you get is usually a pop fly. If you want to see your ball sail KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL AT CONTACT AND STAY FOCUSED ON THAT CONTACT POINT UNTIL YOU GET THROUGH YOUR SWING!

Tip 3: A good friend told us to do this with our first son, but it is a lot harder to get your young hitter to cement in this idea of watching the ball all the way into the catcher's mitt. Whenever your child has trouble making contact with the ball, do this simple drill with your child to re-train their eyes to stay on the ball. Here is the exercise our friend told us to do. For older children you can simply have them stand in the batters box ready to hit the ball. Have the pitcher pitch to the catcher without the hitter hitting the ball. The hitter must follow the balls path from the point of release from the pitchers hand until it is in the catcher's mitt. (Thanks Randy!)

Tip 4: To ensure that your child is not simply standing there pretending like mine do, have he/she tell you what kind of ball was thrown ( curve, two seam fast, four seam fast, knuckle, slider, change up etc..) and whether it it would have been a strike or a ball. It is important for the hitter to watch the ball until it is in the catcher's mitt. If your working with a younger child say 7 or 8, put some colored markings on the ball with a colored marker before you do this exercise. Ask your young hitter to tell you what color polka-dots were on the ball and if it would have been a ball or a strike. They will think this is a fun game and with out even knowing, they will build muscle memory with their eyes to watch the ball. Graduate to balls to which you have colored the seems with thick permanent marker of various colors. This will help them start to recognize the ball and rotation of the ball.Once they have mastered doing this exercise without actually trying to hit the ball, add them swinging to try and hit the balls. Once they are making consistent contact with the ball stress the importance of holding their eye at the point of contact through their swing. This method of ball striking gives your hitter a much better chance at a home run.

It is frustrating and sad to watch your child struggle with hitting. I have been in that seat long enough until now. I will admit, I knew nothing about baseball until my children started playing. I want them to succeed at what ever they do so I do my part by reading a ton about what ever it is they are struggling with so I can have constructive conversations with them. There is unlimited information about baseball hitting on the Internet available to anyone willing to take the time to search for it. Hopefully this will start you off in the correct direction. Don't wait for someone (a coach or the right coach) to come along and teach your kids these basics. I wish I had known these few tips when my first son was starting to play. Oh well, as Canadian Man (my husband) would say...Better Late Than Later!

Health: 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans

2011-05-09T22:39:00.004-04:00

The USDA in a press release in Jan 2011 redesigned the recommended dietary guidelines to place stronger emphasis on reducing calorie consumption and increased physical activity because more than one-third of children and more than two-thirds of adults in the United States

are overweight or obese . The 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans is the the federal government's evidence-based nutritional guidance to promote health, reduce the risk of chronic diseases, and reduce the prevalence of overweight and obesity through improved nutrition and physical activity.

Some of the tips provided by the USDA include:

• Enjoy your food, but eat less.

• Avoid over sized portions.

• Make half your plate fruits and vegetables.

• Switch to fat-free or low-fat (1%) milk.

• Compare sodium in foods like soup, bread, and frozen meals – and choose the foods with

lower numbers.

• Drink water instead of sugary drinks

After reading countless email newsletters forwarded to me by my husband, I feel it important to impart some other tips that may help those of you who are battling the bulge like I am.

Tip #1: Buy only single ingredient items or combinations of single ingredient items. If you look at the ingredient content on the packaging, you will see that most packaged foods have usually 10-50 ingredients. Put these back on the shelf girl!

Example: I bought organic single serving packages of oatmeal the other day and the ingredients listed was just whole rolled oats. That is it. My son on the other hand brought me a bag of corn puff cereal and when I looked at the ingredients there were about 15 and sugar was the second one on the list. I showed it to my 7 year old and explained to him what we were trying to do in the house was simply to make healthier choices and that this was just one way to start. He of course stomped his foot in frustration and said "WE" did not include him in the discussion and therefore he should be exempt from the new food rule.

Tip #2: When shopping stay on the periphery of the store because this is where all the fresh items were stocked. All the center isles housed packaged food items filled with sugar and preservatives.

Hey bloggers check back later for new tips.

Kitchen Knowledge: How To Boil The Perfect Egg

2011-05-09T01:15:00.004-04:00

Whether you want a soft boiled or hard boiled egg, it is easy to mess up!

Too rubbery, cracked in the water, whites not cooked enough, sulfur smell, grey film on yolks. Follow these tips and you should end up with perfect soft and hard boiled eggs every time.

Tip 1: Bring refrigerated eggs to room temperature before dropping them in the hot boiling water. It is the difference in temperature that cracks them.

Tip 2: To destroy salmonella bacteria, egg must be cooked to o160 degrees F. This is the temperature at which an egg yolk sets. To avoid contracting salmonella, avoid eating undercooked egg whites or has a runny yolk.

Tip 3: If you are concerned about your egg being too old. Put it in a cup of fresh cold water if it lays still on it's side, it is still fresh. If it tilts or floats, it is going bad. As an egg loses freshness, the white will become runny and thin and the yolk will become flatter and break easily.

Tip 4: Directions for Soft Boiling verses Hard Boiling an egg.

First heat water to a simmer. Gently lower room temperature LARGE eggs into the water. Increase the temperature until the water begins to boil then reduce it to a simmer. Simmer your egg for 4 minutes for a soft boiled egg. Simmer your egg for 10 minutes for a hard boiled egg. Remove the egg from the simmering water and plunge it into a bowl of cold water. Peel immediately and let peeled egg cool in cold water for at least 5 minutes.

Tip 5: Avoid the grey black ring from forming around the yolk by not cooking it for longer than the 10 minutes.

Coming Soon! Organize Your Photo Library Here's How!

2011-05-05T23:27:00.001-04:00

Garden Trick #1: Use Epsom Salts To Green Up Your Plants

2011-05-05T11:47:00.003-04:00

I was at the local farmers market picking up some creeping petunias for my patio pots. Icommented on how some of the plants looked a little yellow in the center. The lady told me to drop 2 Tbs. Epsom Salts on top and water and that should green them right up. I did what she said and it worked.

It turns out this little trick is a little garden secret used around the world. It works because Epsom Salts are made up of magnesium sulfate, two elements crucial to plant growth. Magnesium is the element that is generally lacking from our soil plays a role in

strengthening the plant cell walls, allowing the plant to take in the nutrients it needs.

This trick is a simple solution to keeping your plants green and is cheap as well as readily available.

Next time your plants look a little pale, just drop 2 Tbs of Epsom Salt in to the container and water.

Recipe: Chicken Vindaloo (dry with no gravy)

2011-05-02T22:58:00.003-04:00

4 chicken breasts - skinless boneless, cut into 1/2 inch cubes

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 cup flour

3 tbs corn oil

3/4 tsp cumin seeds

1 inch cube fresh ginger minced

1 medium onion cut small

1 jalapeno minced

4 tbs Patak Brand Vindaloo Curry Paste

3/4 cup fresh cilantro chopped

Cube chicken breast pieces. Sprinkle with salt and coat in flour. Set aside.

Heat oil on med-hi, Add Cumin seed and stir. Add ginger onion and jalapeno and reduce heat to med. Cook until onion are translucent. Add chicken and seer on all sides. Cook for 5 minutes turning frequently. Add curry paste and continue to cook for 5 min on med-hi until chicken is cooked throughout. Stir in cilantro.

Serve over rice.

Servings: 4

Gavin Tail Twister #24: I Wouldn't Do That If I Were You!

2011-05-02T21:40:00.005-04:00

The Set Up: Gavin is seven years old and adores his big brother! He wants to do everything his brother does...be a good pitcher, be a good catcher, be a good student, and have lots of friends. He wants to play all the same video games, show off his one underarm that is trying to grow a couple of scrawny hairs when he reaches his tween years and even sport the same hairstyle or non hairstyle I should say. They both insist on sleeping on wet hair after their evening bath. In the morning, they splash some water on a comb and push the comb through the tangled nest atop their big heads. Combing it straight down flat on top, pressed onto their forehead with no part and usually with the sides not combed at all. GOOOOBER! I tell them it does not look good but they insist it does and before they leave, the hair is pushed over just on the ends mid forehead so it doesn't get in their eyes. It is kinda Justin Bieber-ish but not that neat. I just let them go to school looking like that. Hee Hee! They are gonna love those pictures!

The Story: Today Gavin and his big brother Sammy (age 11) went to get hair cuts. Of course neither wanted a cut. It was just that time! Nichole is their hair dresser and talks to them just as a good hair dresser does with his/her clients. I am not sure what conversations transpired between the brothers before they got to the hair dresser but neither really wanted to be there. Nicole usually asks "what are we gonna do today?" and they usually respond with what they wanted for a style. Sammy took his turn like a man and with no complaints. Now it is Gavin's turn. Nichole followed all the usual hair dressers protocol...pumped up the chair, put on a cutting drape, sprayed Gavin's hair with water but skipped over the "what are we gonna do today?" question. She picked up her scissors and before she could make the first cut,

Gavin blurts out "I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

Nichole stopped and said "well, why not Gavin?"

Gavin responds with a lisp of course: " I've got LICSSE (that is lice with a lisp)!"

You do?

Yea, I tried to get it all out (lisp) yesterday but couldn't. (lisp) So, yea I got (lisp) lice.

Nichole laughed and said "Gavin you are the first kid that has tried to get out of a haircut by telling me you have lice. " SNIP!

Once In A Lifetime Event: The Royal Wedding

2011-04-20T23:26:00.008-04:00

What is the big deal about a royal wedding you ask? Only every girl in the entire world has dreamed of a fairytale Cinderella wedding and it is actually going to take place in our lifetime. On April 29th at 11AM London time (that is 5AM in the US east coast), a commoner Kate Middleton will marry a Prince, Prince William. Some will say who cares! Who Cares??? I and millions of other commoner care! It has been quoted actually that BILLIONS will tune in via TV, Internet,phone, and radio. There will be horse drawn carriages, the most gorgeous wedding dress , and jewels, not jewelry but jewels, sparkling everywhere. Famous people will fill London's West Minster Abbey for the event of the Century. Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams will perform the ceremony after which the royal bride and groom will ride in a royal carriage to Buckingham Palace. The procession will pass some of London's most famous landmarks. Crowds of people will line the streets hoping catch a glimpse of the newlyweds. Once at Buckingham Palace, William and Kate are expected to make a public appearance on one of the balconies and there they will "KISS". OMG A Royal Kiss!!! This is what fairy tales are made of. The couple retreats into the palace and and attend a grand reception hosted by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Remember once the Queen puts her fork down everyone must put their forks down. She would not last 1 day in our house with Gavin (7) around. She would probably want to get the yardstick (oh that is what southerners use, Queen Elizabeth would probably use that giant royal staff) after him inside of 5 minutes because he'd be asking for "one more bite, just one more, please, please, just one more quick "memory bite". Why do you think she has a big giant staff next to her when is seated in the royal chair. It's to bonk you when you are misbehaving or... poke at you just because she can. That is what I'm going to tell my kids anyway. I can't wait to watch this event. The entire wedding will be covered live by the BBC and several other network stations.

CNN will provide multi-platform coverage as well. It is sure to be a magical event and one that will be talked about for years to come. It will be history taking place right before our eyes. Don't miss it! You never know, if you look close enough, you may even see a glass slipper.

American Idol Pool:

2011-04-20T10:11:00.022-04:00

May 12, 2011 James was voted off. What a shocker! I thought he'd win the whole thing. All you pool players guessed incorrectly.

May 5, 2011: Jacob was voted off and Jason is still leading!

Week 1: Pick 1 To Leave

(11 left)

25 points

Week 2: Pick 1 To Leave

(9 left)

25 points

Week 3: Pick To Leave

(8 left)

20 points

Week 4: Pick To Leave

(7 left)

20 points

Week 5: Pick To Leave

(6 left)

15 points

Week 6: Pick To Leave

(5 left)

15 points

Week 7: Pick To Leave

(4 left)

10 points

Week 8: Pick To Leave

(3 left)

10 points

Finale Week 9: Pick The Winner

(2left)

10 points

Voted OFF

Naima

& Thia

Pia

Paul

Stefano

Casey

Jacob

James

Haily

Winner

Random Knowledge

Naima

+25

Stefano Total=25

Haily
Total=25

Jacob
Total=25

Jacob
40

Haily
40

Haily
50

Magic 8 Ball

Says

No no to Stephano

Stefano

Total =0

Haily

total=0

Stefano

Total=20

Jacob

Total=20

Jacob

35

Lauren

35

Smedium

I Wish

Naima

+25

Lauren

Total=25

Stefano

Total=25

Haily

Total=25

Jacob

Total=25

Jacob

40

Scotty

40

Haily

50

Swim Mama

Naima

+25

Stefano

Total =25

Haily

Total=25

Jacob

Total=25

Jacob

Total=25

Jacob

40

Lauren

40

Lady Called Greg

Thia

+25

Stefano

Total =25

Haily

Total=25

Stefano

Total=45

Jacob

Total=45

Jacob

60

Lauren

60

Big Country

Naima

+25

Cassey

Total =25

Haily

Total=25

Stefano

Total=45

Jacob

Total=45

Jacob

60

Haily

60

Lauren

60

Yo-Yo

Naima

+25

Paul

Total =25

Paul

Total=45

Stefano

Total=65

Jacob

Total=65

Jacob

80

Haily

80

Haily

90

G. G.

Haily

Total =0

Haily

Total=0

Jacob

Total=0

Jacob

15

Haily

15

Lauren

15

May 4th: Cast your vote by Thurs. results show. Contestants left!

April 28th: Cast your vote for who you think will be voted off on Thursday.

April 21: Finally Stefano goes but I did not pick him to go. Jason, stud in the lead!

April 20: Seven are left. Vote one off after tonights American Idol Competition show and before the American Idol Results show starts tomorrow night at 8 PM.

April 14, 2011 Week 3 Results

Paul was voted off. Way to go Yo-Yo! You were the only one that got this week correct. You now lead the pool.

April 13, 2011

Vote for the one you think will be voted off on Thursday's American Idol Results Show.

8 are left! Vote in the comment section below this post. You can still win!April 8,2011

April 7, 2011 Week 2 Results:

NO ONE got this one! So sad! I picked Pia to be the overall winner...I am out of the game unless you guys are just bad judges for the next 7 weeks. Ha!

April 6, 2011

Week 2 results will be posted here. Watch the competition tonight and then submit to me under the comment section of this post whom you think will be voted off tomorrow's results show.

Your pick must be submitted to me by the beginning of Thursdays Results Show and remember to tell me your alias each time you comment so I know who you are. For those of you who did not submit an alias, I made one up for you. You should know who you are! If you don't call me or text me.

Here is what you have picked for week 2.

April 2, 2011 Week 1.

Here they are: We have 8 players and the results are as posted.

April 1, 2011

Remember to submit to me your pick of whom you think will be voted off by the beginning of Thursdays Results Show each week. Submit in the comment section below and make sure you tell me your alias. For those of you who did not submit an alias, I made one up for you.

Get Organized: Clear The Clutter (Thin Out Your Closet-Here's How!)

2011-04-17T22:28:00.005-04:00

Organize your closet in 2 sections. One for Fall Winter and one for Spring and Summer. Within each section clothing should be grouped by type. All pants together and all shirts together. Within each type of clothing, items should be grouped in Length Thickness then Color. All hangers should be placed backwards (hook towards you). When you use an item and put it back it, it should be placed in the correct direction (hook away from you). At the end of the season all items still in backwards should be pulled out and given to Good Will. These are items you didn't use all season but thought you couldn't live without. If you can't part with something, put it in a box in the corner of the closet with the date on it. If one more year passes and you have not gone into the box, get rid of it. It is taking up your valuable space.

Get all the same hangers. I like the clear plastic ones with the swivel hook for your tops because they accommodate every kind of top. This is very pleasing to the eye.

Clear the clutter and it will clear the mind!

Recipe: AsparaCous (Asparagus and Couscous)

2011-04-16T08:34:00.009-04:00

Couscous is a traditional staple food served in areas of West Africa, Europe and Asia usually with meat or vegetable stew. Couscous granules are made of coarse ground semolina wheat rolled into small balls and then coated with finely ground wheat flour. They are about 1/4 the size of a piece of rice. Couscous is high in protein and fiber without the meat and the animal fat.

The health benefits asparagus are HUGE. Asparagus is rich in vitamin K, fiber, Vitamin A, and Folate, and Glutathione . The nutritional content of these nutrients has multiple effects. It detoxifies the body and reduces bloating. It prevents osteoporosis, has anticancer properties and is shown to regulate embryonic and fetal nerve cell formation. To top it all off it has antioxidant properties which help keep you looking young.

Here is a recipe that contains both couscous and asparagus. It is High in protein, fiber and antioxidants. It is delicious!

1 2/3 cup chicken broth or vegetable broth (boil)

1 bunch asparagus cut in 1 in pieces

1 1/3 cup couscous

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1 juice of lemon

3 Tbs EVOL (extra virgin olive oil)

1 cup frozen peas thawed and rinsed

1/2 red bell pepper cut into small pieces

3 scallions chopped

1/2 cup pine nuts (toasted)

1/4 cup fresh dill chopped fine

2 Tbs fresh mint chopped fine

Lemon slices and fresh mint for garnish.

Bring broth to boil. Blanch asparagus for1 minutes until it turns bright green. Add frozen peas. Continue to boil 1 min. Strain asparagus and peas leaving broth in a large bowl. Rinse asparagus and peas under cold water to stop them from cooking and pat them dry.

Add couscous to bowl of broth. Stir in salt and pepper and cover. Set aside until cool about 15 minutes.

Add lemon juice, olive oil and toss couscous.

Add asparagus, peas, bell pepper, scallions, pine nuts, dill and mint. Toss until well mixed. Add salt to taste if needed. Garnish with lemon slices and mint.

Serve warm or refrigerate and serve cold as a salad.

Gavin Tail Twister #23: My Life Has Been A Disaster!

2011-04-13T00:57:00.017-04:00

On this particular night in April 2011, I was working late. On my way home, I spoke to my dad who just two days earlier lost his pet dog, Copper. What a sad day that was for everyone in the family. Everyone cried and cried after Copper was put to sleep especially my dad. This was the one animal he had truly been attached to only he did not know it until Copper was gone. What an empty space in your home after the family dog passes. I know this because I have the same empty space in my home from our sweet Louie (Springer Spaniel) who died 3 years ago. He was my one and only pet I've ever let into my life. I still cry when I think about him!

Setting up the story: My Canadian Man, William, and I have for the last year been talking to our children Sam and Gavin about this passing being a possibility. We stressed the importance of quality time and saying a proper loving good bye to the dog each and every time they saw Copper. That usually got Copper an extra kiss and a pat on the head. Little did they know what that loss would really mean to them. On Friday (3 days ago), I told our family that Copper was very sick and not able to walk anymore and that Paupa would faced with putting an end to Copper's misery. Seventeen years with a dog is a long time and this decision did not come easy. Both kids seemed sad but again, they did not comprehend what this would do to them emotionally.

Back to the story. On this particular night in April 2011, I was working late. I spoke to my dad on the way home and arrived in the garage at 9:30. I drop my stuff on the kitchen counter and sit in the empty family room. Immediately Gavin(7) comes out of my bedroom with tears in his eyes. He flopped face down on the sofa and proceeded to sob. I just thought his dad kicked him out of the bed for not following federation rules in the parents bed. That is another story!

I did not pay Gavin much attention until Sam (11) came out and with a sad face asked "did Copper die?" William had just told them that Copper had gone to Heaven. I could see tears coming so I answered Sammy, Yes as I looked away to stop myself from crying too. I said "but you know what Sam? Copper is with Louie chasing and herding birds." That brought a slight smile through his sad face.

I scooted both boys upstairs to their beds hoping to spend individual time with each child to talk about our loss. Gavin was a bit angry about Coppers death but more sad than angry. I consoled him with a mental picture of Copper not being in any pain and hanging out with Louie and all kind of other animal friends. We talked about what a great life Copper had and all the funny things that happened when Copper and our new dog Maggie hung out. They would play chase and bite the other dog's tail and even dog wrestle. They protected us and loved us unconditionally as God created them to do. They filled our lives with happiness along with alot of extra dog work and dog worries just like children do throughout their lives. As Gavin let out an occasional all-out sob with tears, he said and I quote "My life has been a disaster!"

My response "Oh Gavin why would you say that?"

"Because first Louie died and now Copper is dead."

"I guess Gavin, that is what loosing someone very dear makes you feel like."

"I would rather get an F at school than let Copper die."

"Me too Gavin." I said softly.

As he dozed off to sleep with an occasional sob burst, I though about what he said. "My life has been a disaster." Loosing two dogs in three years is a lot and to a seven year old, that is a lot of loss his short little lifetime.

There will probably be more tears over Louie and Copper tomorrow and for many days to come. One thing I can say for sure. God knew what he was doing when he created dogs. After all, if dogs outlived their owners, who's job would it be to scoop the poop? That would be the Canadian Man and the Canadian Manboy's (William and Sammy's) job in our house.

Copper was a special family dog and he loved everyone but especially Paupa. We loved Copper and will truly miss him! May you rest in peace Copper and chase bird for an eternity.

It is a good thing we have Maggie (our one year old Golden Retriever) to bring all that dog joy....and worry. But most of all that empty space in our house is now filled!

Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka Coming Soon

2011-04-11T12:02:00.001-04:00

American Idol Pool: Week 3 Results-Down to Seven

2011-04-08T00:38:00.013-04:00

April 14, 2011

Paul was voted off. Way to go Yo-Yo! You were the only one that got this week correct. You now lead the pool.

April 13, 2011

Vote for the one you think will be voted off on Thursday's American Idol Results Show.

8 are left! Vote in the comment section below this post. You can still win!

	Week 1: Pick 1 To Leave (11 left) 25 points	Week 2: Pick 1 To Leave (9 left) 25 points	Week 3: Pick To Leave (8 left) 20 points	Week 4: Pick To Leave (7 left) 20 points	Week 5: Pick To Leave (6 left) 15 points	Week 6: Pick To Leave (5 left) 15 points	Week 7: Pick To Leave (4 left) 10 points	Week 8: Pick To Leave (3 left) 10 points	Finale Week 9: Pick The Winner (2left)
Voted OFF	Naima & Thia	Pia	Paul
Random Knowledge	Naima +25	Stefano Total=25	Haily Total=25
Magic 8 Ball	Says No no to Stephano +0	Stefano Total =0	Haily total=0
Smedium I Wish	Naima +25	Lauren Total=25	Stefano Total=25
Swim Mama	Naima +25	Stefano Total =25	Haily Total=25
Lady Called Greg	Thia +25	Stefano Total =25	Haily Total=25
Big Country	Naima +25	Cassey Total =25	Haily Total=25
Yo-Yo	Naima +25	Paul Total =25	Paul Total=45
G. G.	Haily +0	Haily Total =0	Haily Total=0

April 8,2011

Week 2 Results:

NO ONE got this one! So sad! I picked Pia to be the overall winner...I am out of the game unless you guys are just bad judges for the next 7 weeks. Ha!

April 6, 2011

Week 2 results will be posted here. Watch the competition tonight and then submit to me under the comment section of this post whom you think will be voted off tomorrow's results show.

Your pick must be submitted to me by the beginning of Thursdays Results Show and remember to tell me your alias each time you comment so I know who you are. For those of you who did not submit an alias, I made one up for you. You should know who you are! If you don't call me or text me.

Here is what you have picked for week 2.

April 2, 2011

Week 1. Here they are: We have 8 players and the results are as posted.

Hysterical: "Never Wax Your HOO-HA"

2011-04-02T11:12:00.005-04:00

This is definitely one of the funnies email I have ever received. It came from a girlfriend who sends me lots of funnies by email. What are friends for? I don't know where the original post came from but when I tried to look it up to give the author credit it came up under many blog postings. Apparently a lot of other readers found this funny as well.

I have personal experience doing this and will never attempt to do it again. That is why I go to the Laser Studio so I NEVER have to shave or wax again! You should try laser... it works! Tell Elizabeth that Usha sent you and she will treat you right!

NEVER WAX

YOUR HOO-HA

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
Read on..........

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Fix dinner, watch the grand kids come and go. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should get the waxing kit from the medicine cabinet.

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?

I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together.

Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!)

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire!

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the family, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my granny panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.

CRAP!

Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out.... I must stay conscious...I must stay conscious.

Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.... OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip... it's not. I touch.. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake ... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop...My head may pop off!

What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand in the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right ??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.... in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, does not melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the AT&T man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter.

So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now ... I can hear her.
I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!! The scream probably woke the family and scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......how bad can that turn out???

American Idol Pool: Get Your American Idol Started! 7 Hours Left!

2011-03-27T21:25:00.005-04:00

Those of you who are try to start an Idol Pool, look at the older posts on this blog to get started. Copy and paste any information you need to get going.

To my pool group,

It starts this Wed. at 8PM. Give your money and Top Pick for who you think the American Idol will be this year. Seal the envelope and give it to Melissa. She will get it to me. I am home with the kids on Spring Break this week.

I will publish the players by their alias names right here on this blog.

Again, Deadline for sign ups are Wed March 30 at 7PM Eastern Time.After Wednesdays show, come back to this web site and in the comment section write your alias name and who you think will be vote off. The deadline to submit your vote is by the beginning of the results show on Thursday 8PM Eastern Time.

Good Luck!

Pool Group Member Paid or Not Paid Idol Pick as of Mar. 30

Smedium I Wish	Paid	No Envelope Yet
Pool Mama	Paid	No Envelope Yet
Country Girl	Paid	No Envelope Yet

American Idol Pool: 3 Days Left

2011-03-27T14:56:00.004-04:00

Those of you who are try to start an Idol Pool, look at the older posts on this blog to get started. Copy and paste any information you need to get going.

To my pool group,

I hope you are excited to watch American Idol Top 11. It starts this Wed. at 8PM. Your money and envelope with your AI Top Pick for 2011 should be ready to go. Give it to Melissa and she will get it to me. I am home with the kids on Spring Break this week.

I will publish the players by their alias names right here on this blog. Remember if you sign up, you must come to this site and under comments for Wednesdays post, you should let me know who you think will be voted off on Thursday night.

Again, Deadline for sign ups are Wed March 30 at 7PM Eastern Time.

Make your selection of whom you think will be voted off this week anytime after the Wednesday competition which airs at 8PM and before the results show which is Thursday 8PM Eastern Time.

Good Luck